Brain fog
Cycle 10, Day 12
I'm pretty used to 'brain fog,' it's a common symptom of my more severe depressive episodes. The cancer/chemo related brain fog isn't worse, not really, and doesn't feel fundamentally different, except that it's constant. With depression, it goes away as my mood improves. But here? It doesn't care about mood. I spent a couple weeks hypomanic and foggy, which if you asked me a year ago I'd have said was impossible. I've noticed I've had to reread and rewrite more than normal, and that my focus is worse, too.
I'm told that I can expect to start to feel normal after I'm through with chemotherapy, which isn't happening soon, but I've only two regularly scheduled cycles left.
From the comments
Britta: dunno if you already follow Jacob Sharpe, but he's a very funny comedian who had brain cancer and makes fun of the "religious/positive" cancer posts here very well. He talks about how the sugar coating, "not today cancer!"/"keep calm and fight cancer" memes are well meaning but whitewash the reality of the experience. As someone who isn't religious, I thought you might particularly find this amusing.
"If God is making up this cancer war, and I have to fight -- he's bored, and he's an asshole."
James Petrosky: Britta R. Moline I'm in the middle of an actual play right now, but I'm adding this to the list
James Petrosky (7 months later): So I forgot to add this to my playlist, and only just rediscovered it just now. And yah know what? Its probably more enjoyable to me now that I'm doomed than it would have been while going through it.