1 - I miss the good avatar backgrounds
2 - Look at me, being all cute and coy, pretending the problem was the cannibis and not the high grade existential crisis that comes from knowing you're a) extremely, utterly, nonsensically doomed and b) won't be given a timeline for that doom for almost three weeks, so even planning for Thanksgiving in two months seems futile.
Anyways a combination of the cannibis and winning a staring contest with that deep, dark void was the solution. The CBD works much better now.
The following was originally posted August 13, 2022
Holy crap CBD is a demon chemical that damns me to an unrestful sleep full of vivid and surreal dreams. I'll take seven.
From the comments
James Petrosky: I have a lot more Facevook memories than I share. I've been reading every comment as they come up. Your kind words of support were invaluable then, I genuinely don't think I could have made it from diagnosis to treatment without you all, and remain a comfort to me now. A good community and sense of belonging won't alter the course of my illness, but it brings light and colour to the days as they pass in joy and contentmemt. For that I thank you.
I am crying right now, but it's from happiness and comfort. I don't know if anyone wants to contemplate their own mortality, but when you do, I hope you feel this supported.
Holy crap CBD is a demon chemical that damns me to an unrestful sleep full of vivid and surreal dreams. I'll take seven.
From the comments
James Petrosky: Maybe I'm just overdoing it? Who knows. Prerolls are weird and I have no idea what I'm doing (other than trying to reliably fall asleep and remain asleep until morning)
Amber: James Petrosky vaping? Smoking? Edible?
James Petrosky: Amber 0.35g prerolled joint, so smoking. Buying small numbers of prerolls is the easiest way for me to find what I like, so I can then get dried flower for the vaporizer. Sadly I can't have edibles right now because they dehydrate me and because of a health problem that has to be avoided (but the problem also makes sleep difficult so catch 22)
Amber: James Petrosky edibles are expensive! I can’t do preroll because of asthma. A portable vape is great cuz I know my exact temp; easy on my lungs. It’s amazing learning smoking has no control and can overheat the preroll. Best of luck! Big learning curve but worth it!
James Petrosky: Amber I've been doing higher THC stuff since 2020, including edibles, but changing life situations has rendered the high THC stuff a poor choice because of elevated paranoia risk (I think related to the same issue, but maybe related to the bipolar disorder or something else) and the edible dehydration issue is a non-starter.
Amber: James Petrosky I’m sorry to hear that. Cbd is a good option for you then. No high, but nice and mellow. I vape sour space candy when I feel anxious and it works like a charm to calm me down. There’s so many strains, it’s overwhelming!
James Petrosky: Amber yeah I tried two this week, one did nothing and this one (Black widdow I think) was too much. It's not pure CBD numbers because the first was higher, but the second also had a small but meaningful amount of THC in it. Anyways, the search continues