Cancer Selfies

Back at the marsh

Cycle 2, Day 5

Immediately noticeable side effects were pretty easy this time. I've learned how to properly take my side effect medicine, especially the one for nausea. My energy levels are back near where they were on last day 14.

But it was a bad weekend for my hair. After carefully brushing out a mat that developed over the weekend (probably started earlier, I've been really scared to touch it at all) I lost half a sink full. I knew this was coming.

From the comments

James Petrosky: My catbus has arrived

A walk at the marsh

I've been under no illusions about my situation since I first learned of the diagnosis, but the past few days have been the emotional weight of it all coming to fully rest on my shoulders. It's been hard. Really hard. I'm tired a lot and today I has to give up on something because it causes me physically too much pain. I'm still haven't fully accepted that, yet.

But I met some swans up close, and Thomasin is very cute, and I have amazing friends and family (all the readers included ❤️) and I'm excited/terrified that I start chemo in four days.

Thank you all for sticking with me so far ❤️

From the comments

James Petrosky: Other junk I didn't get photos of but I found super exciting to see at the marsh:

• So many green frogs and leopard frogs. So so so many. Every step a cascade of frogs jumped away, especially the leopard frogs because the path they were on was a lot less rraceled
• a small seige of sandhill cranes, three of which landed and put on a bit of a show, stretching their wings and making silly crane sounds
• a single very smol garder snake, at the folk horror mound
• I accidentally treed an American Bitern, a bird I had never seen before today, and got a really good look at a majestic water bird looking extremely goofy at the top of a tree. 10/10 recommend viewing beautiful majestic wildlife outside of its preferred environment (except moose, leave them in the swamps, you don't need a highway kaiju fight)
• Evidence of a moose or other large animal, which I didn't investigate because the last thing I want to meet in a swamp on foot is a territorial moose
• Did you know swans sing? And that their song is profoundly beautiful? And they harmonize with each other? I'm still 100% team Canada goose, but the water fowl alliance of ducks-geese-swans is simply unbeatable. A whole lot of swan watching is on the remission list

Sarah: You've got this. And sometimes you will feel like you don't. And that's okay. I think the biggest lie that people are made to beleive is that they have to hold it together and be strong. But it's okay to be soft and get messy. You're entitled to it and those feelings are perfectly valid. Be gentle with yourself, give yourself grace and cry when you need to. Treat yourself and give in when you want things thay bring you comfort. You deserve those things.

Tiny Marsh

Tiny Marsh. The marsh isn't small, Tiny is just the name of thr township. I over did it with a 5ish km walk this morning. There were many swans, some ducks, but no geese. The marsh is similar to the wetlands I grew up with, with similar shore species and lots of cattails, but the lack of rock and jackpine makes it special and unique to me. Even if it's absolutely typical of every wetland in the area. Plus there's always so many cool dogs (no photos, I keep to myself as best I can)