️King's Highway 17, Highway 108 Turnoff to Echo Beach
My last solo adventure was a trip down King's Highway 17, starting at the turnoff to Elliot Lake and ending at at Echo Bay. The destination was adding a second oversized coin to my collection, the Giant Loonie at Echo Beach (the other in my collection is the Big Nickle in Sudbury, which is much bigger and more impressive). I visited a few landmarks, got pretty lost on some backroads without any cellular coverage at all, and found some artisanal sourkraut in a valley I didn't know existed.
The only thing I can recommend without reservation from this trip is a visit to the Black Bear Cafe on St. Joseph's Island, they had the finest buttertarts I've ever purchased and a lemon bar that I somehow managed to savour over a few improbable days.
The Loonie is just off the highway, though, so if silly roadside nonsense is your thing (like it is mine), then it's an easy thing to cross off your List Formally Known as the Remission List. The sourkraut was really good, and I'm upset I don't get to finish eating it, but I have no idea how to return to that location, so it's lost to us all.
A Cancerversary marks the anniversary of an important event in your cancer journey. August 2nd, 2022 marks the first time a doctor uttered the word and changed the direction of my life irrevecobly.
The Cancerversary is not a celebration of diagnosis, it's about survival. Cancer is a truly monstrous thing, and marking another year with it is good and right.
For my first Cancerversary, August 2nd, 2023, my best friend Lilly Hill helped me throw a tea party for some of my favourite plush friends. There were adult drinks (which i couldn't have, its hard on a liver already harmed by the cancer), tea, cake and, finally a fire in the evening.
It was a wonderil day of whimsy and make believe, the perfect escape from a reality that can be unkind. Plus, cake!
I've seen Cats (2019), conservatively, over 250 times. The Covid-19 layoff period was one of hyperfixation for me. Somehow, through all those viewings, my only partner was Thomasin, and I think she was more into our group watches for the quiet cuddles rather than the cinematic masterpiece.
One night in hospice we decided it was time to watch it. I was too afrade that people close to me wouldn't enjoy it that I didn't let them have the choice.
My youngest brother, Joseph, and my partner, Alicia, took the plunge with me, probably for the final time.
For me, some of the magic was gone. The warm glow of hyperfixation has long passed. I still adore the music the way I always have, still love the dedication to bisexual lighting, and still love the weird little story they crammed into a musical that did not need it. I remembered the hours I spent pouring over vintage maps of London, trying to figure out the geography of the world. After the movie was over, I listened to The Flop House Cats episode, just to draw out that feeling I'm hoping is a nontoxic nostalgia.
My partner and my brother both had a good time, too. It was fun to rehash the old talking points, all of which kind of come down to not a singe choice being made correctly during production. I don't think it'll end up on either of their top ten lists, but we were happy to share that particular bit of madness together.
I really lucked out that the software I chose at random for my digital scrap book had a perfect cover page for me. I get to choose joy and wonder and whimsy and to experience the beautiful madness of the world because of all of you supporting me throughout the whole of my cancer journey.
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Surviving cancer has been a long, hard process of identifying the demons that haunt the dark places in my life and befriending them.
First, I tried the disease itself. But that's too big. I still haven't gotten to the point of forgiveness to my own body for the betrayal it's put on me. But I have accepted it, and recognize it as an amoral force of nature.
My real first victory was over denial. Accepting the diagnosis was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't remember if it was the first or second chemo session that convinced me completely, but it was early. And for this I'm thankful, it let me jump right into the photo project which has enriched my life and delivered a tremendous amount of meaning to me. And maybe it'll help someone, too.
There have been dozens of little and big anxieties. I used to hate needles, now I have four perminant IVs in my limbs. Eighteen chemo cycles over two years is enough exposure for most. My treatment was repetitive, it's easy to make boring or anxiety like that.
A secret I only just started telling is that three days before the HIPEC surgery, when I had the consent forms filled out but hadn't sent them in, I very nearly didn't. I had won a minor duel with denial on routine stuff, but not when a dozen organs were on the line. But the fortitude I'd developed in eight months of treatment carried me through, and for my trouble I was gifted certainty. But not granted our desired outcome.
Befriending death is the difficult one. I've been working on it since accepting my diagnosis in September 2022 and since accepting my surgical fate in June 2023. I've come a long way. I know the form death will take (it's private, don't ask), and I know my last act will be to embrace it as a close friend. And I know that this will happen on their time, and I'm not ready yet.
There's more, so much more, buried in my Facebook wall (I've read it all for a project), but today I want to celebrate a small, but important for me, victory. The Antler's Hospice is a beautiful little album, perhaps nothing worth writing about these years later, but I like it's tragic beauty. I banned it from my playlist in 2022 because the central metaphor of a hospice was too much for me while coping with terminal illness.
Friends, I listened to that album straight through. In the cold dark of the hospice I've called home for over a month. My partner is in the next room, but she's asleep. And the nurses largely leave us alone after dark. It's just me, my headphones, the inky darkness of a Northern Ontario night, and the hum of my medical machines.
How I imagine it supposed to be listened to it.
I've become fast friends with Hospice again. I only hope this small victory can apply elsewhere. But if not, I have Kettering back. And thats beauty I want from the world.
From the comments
James Petrosky: The song I have forgiven for hitting too close to home. It's a beautiful and powerful song.
Brennan Moline: James Petrosky thank you as always for sharing powerful art that speaks to you
Gena Radcliffe: “I still haven’t forgiven my body for the betrayal it’s put on me. But I have accepted it, and recognize it as an amoral force of nature.”
This is beautiful, powerful, and deeply relatable.
James Petrosky: Gena Radcliffe it took me so long to get here, and it requires constant work as the cancer creates new nightmares, but it's given me so much peace and mental stillness.
Cathy Petrosky: You have taught this old lady so much. For this I am so grateful. 🥰
Dennis Dorion: Your mom is so right. This past, short 2 years will have changed so many lives. I hope in some way we can pay it forward. Each day is so precious. It is so easy to look at the big things and miss all the beautiful smalls. You have been able to capture all these smalls. I am beginning to see these smalls because of you. Thank you so much for being you. ❤️💜
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Today, my partner Alicia and brother Joseph watched Cats. This was both of their first times, and probably something around my 250th.
I hadn't watched it since before my diagnosis. I needed comforts like this more than ever, but with Cats I'm always terrified that the magic will have somehow evaporated. That I'll be left like the majority who panned it, stuck in a grayer world, lacking those beautiful neon alleys.
Cats' powerful sway over me is broken. My capacity for that obsession died the day I had to say out loud the words "it's cancer" to my parents, "stage four". But Cats is still a joy, a delight, a bright and colourful balm, and exactly what today needed.
BC (before Cats (2019))
AC (after Cats (2019))
From the comments
Brennan Moline: You are a much stronger man than me for being able to resist forcing your friends and family to watch your obsession. I know I forced Annette on more than a few folks
James Petrosky: Brennan Moline some things are just so close to you that you need to be forced to share with your loved ones. The fear of rejection has been too white hot, but I'm glad I overcame it today.
Brennan Moline: James Petrosky I understand that -- after some bad reactions to the aforementioned forced annette, I am much more hesitant now.
Jamie Piedmont Murgatroyd Teller: Brennan Moline you did the right thing
Brennan Moline: Jamie Piedmont Murgatroyd Teller By forcing Annette or being hesitant haha
Jamie Piedmont Murgatroyd Teller: Brennan Moline the former, the good news must be spread (it’s my favorite film of the decade so far)
Brennan Moline: Jamie Piedmont Murgatroyd Teller Fuck yes, so glad to meet another devotee of the baby Annette (who is a baby, afterall). It's among my favorite films of all time. It came at a time when I was feeling really weirdly sullen and pessimistic and slapped me out of nowhere as one of my new favorite movies. I even have a tattoo saying "Sympathy for the Abyss"
Cam Percy: Sharing Cats (2019) with someone for the first time is one of my favourite things to do. I'm so glad you got to do it today.
Cam Percy:
SKIM
BLE
SHANKS
THE
RAIL
WAY
CAT
James Petrosky: Cam Percy Skimble won't let anything go wrong, and that is a comforting thought
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Very occasionally, you can catch a perfect tinsel like strand of nostalgia. We embraced, shared, and parted as friends. It's the safe way to spend time with these ghosts.
(We had a group watch of Repo: The Genetic Opera and all felt it held up as a beautiful cult film, the way we did in university)
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
I'm no longer writing Cancer Selfies, that project didn't finish where I wanted or where I expected, but it did finish at the right place. People have used the final post (hospice, sticky on my profile) as a place to leave nice messages for me and my family, which I appriciate more than I can express. This is a good place for them. I've enjoyed reading them all, and keeping them together makes them easier to find in the future.
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Today I'm celebrating my second Cancervercery. I don't think that, as a birthday like holiday, it's likely to catch on with anyone else, but it's important to me.
It marks the anniversary of my diagnosis, celebrates the months and months enduring chemo and recovering from surgery. It's an opportunity for me to look back at all the things I've done while under the shadow of one of humanities greatest nightmares.
For my first Cancervercery, I threw a squishmallow tea party, complete with a decorated Cancervercery cake. Whimsy and silliness were powerful enough then to contain the horror.
For my second, and final, Cancervercery, that horror is unavoidable and inescapable. I've survived and thrived during my time in hospice, during the time when the processes of death itself could not be ignored. I've prepared a tour of my hospice life, complete with the digression and discussion everyone who knows me has come to expect. It's a long video, but a nice length for a visit (1.5 hours). It's extremely intimate and emotional. But I chose to make it, and I chose to publish it, and I'm choosing to share it here.
My first Cancervercery (this is a genuinely fun and joyful video)
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
Hospice Suite. St. Joseph's General Hospital, Elliot Lake, Ontario.
The hospice suite is my home now. I've been in treatment for a partial bowel obstruction for a few weeks. For a while, it was promising, but then things turned, and the word hospice was uttered more and more regularly.
I have thoughts about many things, about how we talk about people as having lost their battle with cancer (you do you, but it's not for me), the ubiquity of Fuck Cancer bumper stickers (you do you, not for me) and even my own cancer as a seige (I like it more than a battle, but ultimately it shares the same problem). I can't stand the hushed tones and terror in our voices, as though it was some cheap fantasy villian.
All I've got, after two years of treatment and surgeries and hospital stays and mounds of medications and so much vomiting is the slowed down, minor key, horror movie trailer cover of Abba's Waterloo. Something fun and wonderful turned terrible, terrible but somehow compelling.
I intend to remain in hospice for the majority of the remainder of my life. I would love to see people. Lots of people. The celebration of life that will follow my passing will be a smaller, quieter affair, to reflect the wishes and needs of my family.
The Hospice Suite is located at St. Joseph's General Hospital in Elliot Lake, Ontario. 70 Spine Lake Road. Visiting hours are listed as 11AM-7PM, but staff have been really flexible with us so far.
Elliot Lake is two hours from either Sudbury or Sault St. Marie, has one hotel (Hampton Inn, it's nice), there are highway side motels (varying quality) and some options in Blind River (40 minutes away).
Because of disease progression, and especially the amount of painkillers I'm on, I don't have as much internet energy as I used to. I'm trying to read everything as I can, but I won't be able to respond as I used to. It's just the nature of my Waterloo.
I love you all, you've meant so much to me for as long as I've known all of you, and especially for the last two years.
PS the hospice is animal friendly, so you might get to meet an orange cat (but she's been anxious, so we might leave her at home)
PPS this is a catholic hospital, and that's a complicated question for the healthy to debate, I'm not interested in that debate, any discussion of religion (I'll fist bump and share a Coke over some forms of annihilation) and any discussion of politics.
PPPS I don't know how long I have.
Welcome to the St. Joseph's Hospital hospice suite (3rd floor, we'll signed from entrence, visitors welcome). My new home. Featuring my new best friends my IV pump, nose tube (we've made up our differences and found similarities - a love of slushies the big one so far) and, timidly hiding in the background, the vacuum pump that powers the tube. Being an electromagnetical device, we got on famously right away.
Hospice suite! This time featuring my final (present) medical friend, the pain pump. The pain pump lives in the black bag, has an IV to my upper leg. It semi constantly pumps hydromorphone into my system (with super fun bonuses as I need them). It's the real star of the show, I'd be in crippling agony without it.
Hanging out in my room
The sunset was magnificent, but you get to look at me
One of my old hospital rooms (the tube and I are friends here)
July 9th discharge excitement! No nose tube! (we haven't made friends yet)
July 6th. Second trip to emerge. The injection wore off and the pills weren't doing it (combination of intensity of pain, strength of pills, and that my digestive system is on shambles). I was admitted for a partial bowel obstruction. It was a repeat of April, moving from an IV diet to a clear fluids diet. We stopped at that, I was discharged, with instructions on how to complete the cycle back to normal.
We we're discharged on the 9th. Early the next morning I would throw up again, the previous day's everything visible (easy when you eat juice and jello only). The obstruction was back.
July 5fh. The last time I had solid food. First trip to emergency for some pretty extreme pain. We thought it was extreme constipation (and might have been). We got some better painkillers and went home. I was very high, Tim. Hortons made some terrible drinks (I generally like their fruity fun time beverages). I threw up. Probably the painkillers, but we'll blame Timmie's.
The night before Alberta leg zero (Elliot Lake to Midland to pick up Alicia. The last and only leg)
Hanging with the kitty cat before it all went down
Serpent River rest stop, a few weeks ago. This is the last time I remember feeling mostly okay.
Serpent River
From the comments
Susan J. E. Ritta: Sending you peace and comfort. We connected through podcasts and I'm so grateful for it. ❤
Jamie Piedmont Murgatroyd Teller: You got your Squishmallows with you?
Amber Andersen: My friend, it has been an honor and a privilege to witness your Waterloo. I wish you peace and comfort in your final days, and I'll be posting some doggo and catto pix here shortly. I adore you.
Tess Sullivan: ❤
Anthony Daley Di Poce: Both of my fuzzy-kin say hi. I'll miss you and your posts. Thank you again for your digital friendship.
Park Parkison: Hugs from an orange cat.
Marion Quigley: Jim thanks for sharing and being so open about your life and your cancer story. You have an amazing ability to tell your story and always look at the bright side. Even though I haven’t seen you in years I feel I know you. Jim Quigley grew up with your dad and I worked with your mom and we became great friends. They made 3 wonderful sons together. We are living in Ottawa right now so can’t visit you but know that we will be there for your parents always!
Love Jim and Marion
Garrett Harer: Hey bud, thank you so much for sharing your journey over the last couple of years. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and wish it was feasible to pop on by to see you (and let's be honest, the cat). 🖤
Ashleigh Latimer: James do you think we could do a video call one day? I don't think I'd get as far as Elliot lake. If you can't that's alright too. We will figure out something
Christianne Manzano: Shumai and I send our love.
Stefanie Culp: GingerSnapz and I send you lots of love on this leg of your journey. I’m glad a certain orange friend might be able to come visit you.
Gillian Bradford: You’re a stranger but you’re not. Thank you for sharing so much of your life with this rando from Oregon. My earliest memory of you in my FB world was a picture of an orange cat in your house with a caption saying something along the lines of “I don’t have a cat.” Cats are good judges of character, and she knew you were a safe and good place to land. So much love to you. 💗
Dayna Normand: Thinking of you James!
Laura Caputo: I think of you every time I see a goose meme. I am sending feisty goose thoughts and my cat says hi 💜
Dawn Gildenmeister: I’m so grateful for you and what you’ve shared out to all of us. Thank you again for this friendship 💗 much love to you and yours from these two little friends as well.
Juha Heikkilä: I really wish I could come and see you. Unfortunately I do not have pictures to send you right now, but I'm sending you love and kindness and everything I can. You are amazing and I'm thankful that you've shared your story with us.
Alex Schroeder: Sending love from Artemis and DVa
Elysia Yardley: I really want to commend you for your courage in sharing your journey with us. You have shown resilience, humour, strength, and I’m so grateful to have become internet friends. I live in toronto but I would be happy to send you a little something? I’m also here if you want to talk. Sending you so much love and a picture of Zoey
Eva Bowering:
I've been laying sage and tobacco down for you everyday (for what it's worth). You are such a great friend. If I can get up North somehow I'd visit in a heart beat. I know others have said this but thank you always for sharing and allowing us into your world 🌎 ❤️
Stephanie Phillips Lee: Know that someone very far away is thinking of you and wishing we could meet in person. I’m always happy to to see you pop up in my threads. Here’s a silly pup.
Norman Tremblay: Thanks for the update James. I love you and I'm thinking of you. 💜
Benjamin Jones: Sending love and fluff
Llama Mattingley: Beeb wishes he could visit! Sending you all the best vibes 💜
Soun Lee: To the tune of your Waterloo and goose honks. May you be in peace and comfort, I know you must have had a solid rock collection back there and got out and saw some of those slabs. 🫡
Janet Dorion: We are working on a plan to get there
Cecelia Morelli: James I’ve been thinking about you so much the last few days. When a movie will pop into my head or when I am simply sitting and loving on my cat. I think of you and how you have become this person in my little world by some accident of internet groups and shared interests and cats. I think you are so wonderful and I’m so glad to know you even in this seemingly small way. Would it be possible to send you something in the mail? A letter or card or something? I want to send you some art
Anne Marie Newman: Sending so much love. It’s been wonderful getting to internet know you this last year or so. 💚💚💚
Jeremy Simington: Safe journeys, James. These goood boys are greeters on the other side of the rainbow bridge.
Owen Devonshire: Take care, brother. It’s been great to know you all these years even in this limited way. Here’s a couple of my pups.
Katie Bryan: Sending you all the raccoons and opossums you can possibly stand. I have loved getting to know you all of these years. Safe travels my friend ❤️
James Petrosky: Sleepy albino raccoon is an important nap spirit for us all
Tara Kraft: I finally found a table runner I really liked for my dining room table. Duh, it's made of jute, my cats love it too. As far as they are concerned, I just turned the dining table into a giant cat bed. It's theirs now. Don't judge me.
Sarah Hohman: Kalan caught mid-bath. Whatever the future holds for you, your strength has inspired a lot of people. And I'm sure you haven't felt strong all the time. I'm sure you've had breakdowns and struggles and emotions I can't even imagine. But you've faced everything with humor and clear eyes and resolve and Kalan and I have nothing but love and respect for you.
Emilie Victoria: Picture of a baby baboon from African lion safari last week for you ❤️ thinking of you and praying for you, James. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. Sending so much love to you.
Emilie Victoria: And who doesn’t love giraffes!! 🦒
Lan L.: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Mica Richard: Thinking of you with love
Sam Selby: It's been a pleasure getting to know you, even just over Facebook. You're a really good person, James, and your presence will be missed greatly. 💖🪿🦝
Tom Bisby: I'm sorry I never got to know you better after the mutual interest in podcasts. You always seem like such a fun, interesting person when I see you in my lurking and I was always a bit shy to talk. Wishing you the best from myself and Simmy in the UK
Geoffrey Lee: Hey James, I've been missing you from Kitchener. I remember all the good times we had on our random beer nights and hanging out.
I have been following on Facebook, and I love that you've been living your fullest that could be. I will miss you James.
Steph Nelson: This is Milo. He belongs to the kid of the guy who runs the local coffee shop, so he was hanging out there when I took a shortcut through the shop earlier. Human pictured is my coworker.
Steph Nelson: Lily got caught trying to break into my plant closet
Steph Nelson: I appreciate you and your openness, James. I love your personality and your way with words. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. ❤️
Peter Tremblay: We hope to see you this weekend Jimmy. ❤️
Rina Haenze: Every time I see a goose, I think of you. Sending love from me, Garak, and all the geese I see when I walk past the lake every few days (there's a polycule! 2 females, one male, all raising a small family together every spring).
Brennan Moline: Beau and I send endless love. We will watch Cats, and look at water fowl, and appreciate squishy orange cats, and nod at lessons on the geosphere (you can tell how much we have to learn), and think of you.
Thank you for sharing your truth, your journey, your physicality, your voice. You are among the best people I've met yet in my life.
Grace Tomczak: Sending you as many positive thoughts as possible. You made an impact on me and I will always think of you whenever my eyes land on a goose.
Beth Theyba: You welcomed me into the LGBTQ+ Flopsters group and helped me feel like I belong. Like many who have posted, when I geese (also sometimes ducks) I think of you and how welcoming you are as a person. Thank you for sharing your life with so many people, including me.
Laura Brzezinski: Some Geese in Blind river on sat. 😁
Anne Marie Newman: Thinking of you. 🩵🩵🩵
Laura Labedz: Hugs ❤ I'm glad I've gotten to know you over the past couple years. I'm thinking of you and hoping you have a peaceful time in hospice.
Kate Lux: You're someone I wish I could have met in person. I'll keep sending you goose (and occasionally duck) related things for as long as you've got left. And I'll remember you every time I see geese.
Melodie Younce: this is millo, an italian dog who sat next to me while i ate pizza
Ryan McGill: Chimichanga and Dr. Jack Claw, PYT wish you the best. So do I. Thanks for being my friend.
Heather Reller: Buddy sends his love
Tammy Raposo: James Petrosky,
When I think back to our high school era, it's with admiration. Your intelligence and wit was simply beautiful! I always admired you! You just understood things. On top of all else, your courage, bravery, vulnerability and grace through this journey is something I've never seen before and I thank you for teaching us.
My brain can't seem to remember much details of high school (& I account that to "mom" brain right now), but we had many good laughs hanging out at Jenny's and Nelson's basement, or hitting up the theater in Timmins for Harry Potter? I think that was the last time we hung out!
You were the logic behind any adventure! I can hear you calmly saying "oh boy!" just before our misadventures sliding down the Chapleau High School hill.
I have such gratitude of the friendships we had in one of the most transitional times growing up.
You are an inspiration and for that, thank you, for being you.
Joe Laf: Jimmy, you are an inspiration. I think about you everyday buddy, I wish I was half as brave as you! ❤
Mica Richard: Melted cat or big black slug trying to merge with the tree? (that slightly shiny point on the bottom is her nose)
Consider donating to St Joseph's Hospital in Elliot Lake, they do excellent work for a small community. They're working on improving their oncology area, which is very close to my heart. These improvements will allow more patients to recieve their treatment in the community they live in, rather than traveling two hours each way to the nearest cancer centre.
If you want to keep your money closer to home, then please consider donating to a hospice. The one here has given me and my family so much joy and comfort in a very difficult time in our lives time. I don't think I'd still feel as alive and vibrant, and I would not still be creating, without the care this hospice provides. Hospice is a gift we all deseve at our appointed hour.
I don't have a lot of answers, and have even less energy to share what I do have, but increasingly all roads are converging onto hospice care. Thank you all for your love and support these past years, I couldn't have made it this far without you.
From the comments
Eva Bowering: Love you James. My heart has been with you on your long journey and I will wish you nothing but peace as you transition onward to hospice care. Thinking of you and your closest loved ones.
Janet Dorion: Oh James. We love you more than you know. Miss you so much 😢 💔
Lan L.: oh my dear, we all love you too
Ross Keith: Love you man. We’re all here with you
Cynthia Davis: Hugs James, my thoughts are with you. And geese, geese are with you too 🪿
Park Parkison: Thinking of you, James. ❤️
Emily Hutchinson: Thinking of you. Hoping for a peaceful move into hospice and whatever the future brings.
Dawn Gildenmeister: Thinking of you. We love you. 💗
Holly Kay: Love you so much! Big hugs.
Monica Bell: Sending love your way, and cat pictures ❤️
Sherri Lynn Singer: We are all thinking about you; we are with you.
Beverley Singer: Hugs my brave nephew!💕
Sarah Baggs: Love you, buddy.
Brennan Moline: Sending so much love to you. You are an amazing friend.
Katie Schaefer: Despite only knowing you through shared fandom FB groups, I am sending you all the love. I wish we could hang out in person to discuss the wonder that is Geese, how silly cats are, and debate about which squishmallow is the cutest. ♥️
Jack Cuellar: Love you, pal.
Joe Patrick: Sending love, James. I’m so happy that our paths crossed.
Aaron Lyttle: Love ya James
Jon Muggleton: Oh, man, I was just thinking about you. Love you, man, and hope this gets you some peace.
Julie Campbell: Hugs, my friend
Sarah Snider: I’m sorry, friend ❤️
Elysia Yardley: Sending you so much love right now, James. Zoey getting a kiss ♥️. I’m here if you need to talk
Katie Tremblay: We are thinking about you and sending so much love. 💜🩷
Gail Coulter Cyr: Hugs my friend/cousin, you have been a real warrior!!
Anthony Daley Di Poce: Thank you for sharing all of your adventures with us.
David Richman: I am so sorry.
Mica Richard: Love you James, thanks for the update
Alex Schroeder: We love you and thank you for everything
Ashleigh Latimer: Luv you ! If I can do anything let me know!!
Peter Tremblay: You've been a real inspiration Jimmy. We love you and think of you all the time. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Lara Baker Whelan: I have so admired your candor and bravery as you shared your journey. I wish you peace and love on this next stage. Even though we never met in person, I know I will think of you always.
Kevin Q Gray: Love you James, thank you for sharing your journey, it has meant so much to many and continues to do so.
Charles Meier: See you on the other side
TeJay Wonch: Sending you love from Minnesota
Cindy Claussen: Wishing you all the comfort of these two snuggled together.
Laura Brzezinski: ❤ and 🫂 🤗 Will always be part of the "dream team" (Target). Lols. I hope you will be allowed to see your kitty in hospice. ❤
Sending you thoughts and geese maybe a few raccoons too
Ivy Clark: You are a witty and lovable person and I love hearing your perspective. ❤️
Sam Selby: Ah jeez. Sorry it's taken a bit of a turn. We love you 💖
Dayna Normand: I'm hanging out on my porch, with a cat that I don't own but I think you would enjoy him. Sending you all the positive vibes James
Domino Bay: I love you so much, James. I am so honored to have been able to be part of your life in our little internet circle.
Helen Herbst LaStar: Fuck. Sending love and my invisible dog. We wish you comfort.
Jeremy Simington: You're a graceful warrior, James. Peace, brother.
Rina Haenze: Garak and I send love (along with his blep).
Cecile Tremblay: Love you Jim, you'll always be my baby cousin. Xo
Malcolm Nygard: You are wonderful. Let me know if I can do anything, or if you ever want to talk.
Becca Simmons: Love you, friend. Tina sends slow blinks.
Kevin O'Leary: Knowing you, even if only online, is an enriching and wonderful experience. I hope the hospice transition is as smooth as ot can be
Melodie Younce: hugs ❤️
Lilly Hill: The beebs, almost as cool as you but not quite, hope the pain fucks off for the most part ❤️❤️
Lina John: Thinking of you James ❤️🙌🏾 sending you love and balcony pigeons
Jenny Maurer: Jesus ❤️
Beverley Singer: Love you James! I have travelled this way, along side of you. Let them rid you of this pain.
Kris Lin: Knowing you, even through silly internet posts is a joy. I hope you find peace and a release from the pain. Sending love ❤️
Heather Reller: Little Buddy says hello and hopes you feel ok soon!!
Margaret Miller: I have only known you through the flop house group and what you've written on your own page, and I want to thank you for all of it. It has felt like an honor to get to be a witness to your life and your dying. I will never forget you.
Juha Heikkilä: Love you. You are so so loved.
Sarah Hendricks: Thinking of you
Laurel Ivy: I wish things were different. Sending you good vibes, my friend. 🫂.
Katie Tremblay: So many touching messages. Wow - you are so loved. ❤
Jenny Lou Santoro: 🦆 Thinking of you .... hugs hugs hugs 🦃. I couldn’t find a goose. Hope a duck and a turkey work. 😻 and a cat of course!
Wendy D Hooving: ((~hugs~))
박선재: Hi James. I am your cousin John McKenna’s wife Sophia. We have never met, but I’ve heard about you. Sending our love and prayers to you❤️
This photo is supposed to be with Winnie the Poo in White River, Ontario, halfway to the Manitoba border. The first leg of my grand cross country adventure.
This photo is instead in the hospital in Elliot Lake. The pain is immense. I don't know what's wrong. I do know there is no trip.
From the comments
Grace Tomczak: At least you’re a cute seven.
Claire Ohrling: Grace Tomczak haha I came here to make the same joke 😄
I think that scene in Annihilation where the guys intestines are writhing like snakes captures how I feel a lot of the time
From the comments
James Petrosky: Cancer is living body horror. There are constant new and grotesque violations. You always know the ultimate cause (those immortal detector cells), but your never sure what devious plot they're on now.
You know how the movie ends, and what the last few minutes look like. But you'll never predict that third act bear monster / the loss of the ability to feel comfortable when your sitting or lying down.
The violations do not stop.
It's a heat wave! I'm using a heat pad on high! What a wondrous time to be alive!
From the comments
James Petrosky: No, I don't have AC. I don't even have particularly good fans (job for tomorrow). But at least I'm on the edge of the hear wave, and we're down to 25, which is what I kept my apartment at all winter
