Cancer Selfies

Aug 19, 2023

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Aug 18, 2023

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Aug 17, 2023

21:00

Aug 17, 2023

10:48

Treatment on pause

This isn't even an anniversary I remembered, but on this day in 2022 my partner and I sat with the surgeon I'd been seeing for my abdominal pain and had all our worst fears confirmed by the results of test after test. And you know what? It's fine. I forgot. My partner and I went to the Toronto Zoo, not to mark time but because it's a fun way to spend a summer day.

Apparently the beaver at the zoo has passed away, and that hit me much harder emotionally than August 17 ever could. The beaver wasn't the fattest or roundest of the fatrounds, but they slept right against the glass window that opened into their lodge, so you could always get a good view. The beaver was probably my favourite exhibit.

I have no appointments in the next month. I've grown used to seeing someone every week or two. It's honestly become part of my identity. I'm not upset about it, obviously, but it's still weird. I've been busy, and my strength has been returning, which is also nice.

A man short hair and bushy facial hair sits on a restaurant patio

At a restaurant in Balm Beach

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in front of a sign reading "Tiny Marsh" on the side of a weathered wooden building

At Tiny Marsh, looking for water fowl

A man short hair and bushy facial hair reclines on a folding chair

Relaxing in my yard

A man short hair and bushy facial hair sits on a rock with more rocks in the background

Balm Beach breakwater

A man short hair and bushy facial hair sits on a rock with more rocks and a small building in the background

Balm Beach breakwater

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in front of a large machine riding on train tracks, most of it is not in frame

At the Big Chute Marine Railway

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in front of a chain link fence protecting a large transformer, a sign that reads "Danger high voltage, no tresspassing"

I'm a big fan of hydro

A man short hair and bushy facial hair pokes his head above a sign that reads "School House" done in an old style

At the Coldwater, Ontario, museum

A man short hair and bushy facial hair excitedly stands in front of an old steam powered tractor

Steam tractor (at the Coldwater Museum)

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in front of a huge apple tree, looking shocked

So many apples (they're pretty tart though)

A man short hair and bushy facial hair sits next to a woman with a short rainbow mohawk in front of pink flowers

My partner and I at the Toronto Zoo

A man short hair and bushy facial hair sits next to a woman with a short rainbow mohawk in front of yellow and red flowers

My partner and I at the Toronto Zoo

A man short hair and bushy facial hair sits in front of yellow and red flowers

If there was ever a real life fire flower

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in front of a large sculpture of a polar bear made out of plastic waste

A bear made of garbage
 ·Tags:  Surgical Recovery  Short Hair  Thin Hair  Brown Hair  Long Beard  Toronto Zoo  Toronto  Balm Beach  Tiny Marsh  Trent-Severn Waterway  Coldwater

Aug 16, 2023

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Aug 15, 2023

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Aug 14, 2023

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Aug 13, 2023

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Aug 12, 2023

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Aug 11, 2023

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Aug 10, 2023

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Aug 09, 2023

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Aug 08, 2023

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Aug 08, 2023

09:01

Touring Northern Ontario

Last Thursday, the 3rd, I met with my oncologist to plan when I'd restart treatment. My blood counts have never been particularly useful (even though I have advanced disease, they've never been above the cutoff point where we'd start to worry about them), but they're still lower than when I started treatment a year ago. The CT scan showed no new tumors in the scan area (I think head and legs are outside, and we know the pelvic area isn't imagable), including in lungs, liver, and bones. The existing appendix tumor remains, but is still around the size it was. It's difficult to image the diffuse tumor on the fatty layer that protects the abdominal organs, so there are still unknowns, but we've decided to delay our decision for a few months. This means they in late September and early October, I'll be doing the same round of tests again to see if I need treatment then. This is fantastic news for my incision, which will get the time to heal properly for sure now.

Over the weekend my partner and I traveled to Elliot Lake to attend a family reunion/baby shower in Espanola. Nearly everyone was there, including the enormous and adorable baby, and it was a fantastic time. I didn't realize how much more recovery I had to do, though, I've never been so tired from sitting in the shade all day.

This need for further recovery was repeated Sunday, when my partner and one or my brothers had a tourist day in and around Elliot Lake, and Monday at Science North. Eight months of treatment that saps your strength, followed by a surgery that steals your endurance, and two months of lying around trying not to harm an incision take nearly everything out of you. At least I have two more months to recover.

A man short hair and bushy facial hair sits in the passenger seat of a moving car

Traveling North on Highway 400/69, north of Parry Sound, where the good outcrops are.

A man short hair and bushy facial hair high fives a large fluffy black bear statue

Bear friend at the North West Trading Company in Espanola, Ontario

A man short hair and bushy facial hair scratches the chin of a large fluffy black bear statue

Bear friend likes the same things that poodles like

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands next to a smaller bear statue

Additional bear friend, at the Trading Post on Serpent River First Nation

A man short hair and bushy facial pets a deer statue

Deer also like what poodles like, tourist centre at Elliot Lake turnoff

A man short hair and bushy facial hair pretends to hold a baby deer statue

Baby deer

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in front of a giant atom sculpture, scratching his chin ponderously

My first giant roadside statue. By far the largest, in terms of magnification, I'll ever see. Elliot Lake's Atom Statue, on Highway 108 in Elliot Lake

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in next to a sculpture of a minter

A miner, next to the atom statue

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in a lookout structure looking over Elliot Lake

The view from the lookout point in Elliot Lake

A man short hair and bushy facial hair stands in front of an old radio tower

The wiring on this old tower is suspect, but probably fine

A photo stand-in with two faces, one the man who appears in all the photos, they appear to be making cotton candy for a small black bear

My brother and I, not entirely sure what we're doing in the art though

A blury photo of a man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair standing in green light

Inside the Science North dinosaur exhibition, Sudbury, Ontario

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair standing in front of a skull (which he forgot to identify)

I forgot what sort of skull this is 😮

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a triceratops skull

Triceratops so big

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a brontosaurus animatronic neck and head

I loved the lighting almost as much as the dinosaurs

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a carnotaurus animatronic

Carnotaurus's face so flat

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a tyranosaurus animatronic

T-Rex is perfection

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a solid rock tunnel face

Science North is built into the bedrock of the Southern Province of the Canadian shield (2.5 billion years old) and shows evidence of the impact that created the Sudbury basin. These shatter cones are visible as far away as Espanola, Ontario

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a tree with a porcupine in it, inside the science centre

Porcupine in the tree ❤️

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a window with a bedrock outcrop and lake visible in it

Another view of the bedrock

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a beluga whale skeleton, which appears to be his size, but is larger in reality

Beluga whale Skeleton. Beluga whales are surprisingly small

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of the porcupine, but from a higher floor than the last photo

I really liked this porcupine, and the beaver was resting in its lodge for most of my visit

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing next to a cardboard cut out of Christ Hadfield in a space suit

I don't have a lot of heroes, but Chris Hadfield is about as close as it gets

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a fin whale skeleton, suspended fron the ceiling, it stretches down through several floors of the building

Fin whales, however, are huge (this Skeleton covers three stories of the building)

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing with a large set of moose antlers on his head, they are as wide as he is tall

Moose cosplay would be exhausting

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing in front of a hard rock tunnel looking contented

I just really like rocks, okay?

A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is holding a lanky brown tabby kitten, the kitten is squirming

My brother's new cat, Ollie

From the comments

James Petrosky: Anyways, this trip crossed The Atom, three trading posts and Science North off my todo list (which is a physical list on real paper in an actual notebook now (it has a dog in a doughnut on the cover). Meeting the baby was the purpose of the trip, but some light multitasking is good

I did not hold the baby because I was exhausted by the time I arrived and he likes to kick, which would have been bad for my incision. I hope I'll be able to rectify this soon

James Petrosky: I forgot to include the best dinosaur 😮 A man with a ball cap and bushy facial hair is standing next to a stegosaurus skeleton

 ·Tags:  Surgical Recovery  Short Hair  Thin Hair  Brown Hair  Long Beard  Espanola  Serpent River  Elliot Lake  Sudbury  Science North

Aug 07, 2023

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Aug 06, 2023

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Aug 05, 2023

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Aug 04, 2023

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Aug 03, 2023

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Aug 02, 2023

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First Cancerversary Video

On the second of August, 2022, I learned that I had cancer. Its now the second of August, 2023, and I'm throwing my First Cancerversary party. A Cancerversary marks an important date in the progression of your illness, good or bad. Starting treatment, a surgical date, the date you went into remission, or the date the cancer came back are all things I think we should be celebrating. Not because a bad thing happened to us, but because we are still here to experience it.

My 1st Cancerversary is a celebration of joy, life and survival (with a touch of death thrown in as a treat for me).

There is a diary post to go with this video.

 ·Tags:  Surgical Recovery  Short Hair  Thin Hair  Brown Hair  Long Beard  Video  Balm Beach  Squishmallows  Cancerversary  Lily
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