Sep 25, 2024
Elliot Lake
In April, I finished what would turn out to be my final cycle of chemotherapy.
In April, I was hospitalized in Midland, Ontario, for the first time for a partially obstructed bowel.
In April, I finally relocated from Midland, Ontario, my home for a decade, to Elliot Lake, Ontario, my parents' home for the same time period, and a place where they could assist in my increasing care needs.
In July, the obstructed bowel reoccured, canceling my Great Canadian Roadtrip Adventure, landing me back in hospital.
Briefly, for a couple hours, I was clear of this condition. But it quickly returned, I returned to hospital, and we made the difficult decision to end most interventions and transfer to hospice.
It is now late September. I've been in hospice for 76 days. I called the apartment I moved into back in April home for 76 days. I've lived in hospice half my time here.
I don't really know what to think or make of this, but I've had some fudge procured to celebrate, for a milestone is a milestone, even when it's a confusing one.
Scrap-Book Post
Apr 18, 2024
I've been discharged, I'm home. We're pretty much where we were on Monday. I've got instructions on how to manage this new condition, but managing is all there is to do. There is no cure, no further treatment. This is just another part of my life now.
Apr 18, 2024
Not sure if I'm more tired of the pain or being extremely high all the time.
From the comments
James Petrosky: Someone in the room has decided that we would all love to hear their country music. I made sure to pack multiple pairs of headphones so I wouldn't accidentally expose anyone to dinosaur podcasts. I'm extremely frustrated but unable to do anything about it
Apr 18, 2024
Not sure if I'm more tired of the pain or being extremely high all the time.
From the comments
James Petrosky: Someone in the room has decided that we would all love to hear their country music. I made sure to pack multiple pairs of headphones so I wouldn't accidentally expose anyone to dinosaur podcasts. I'm extremely frustrated but unable to do anything about it
Apr 16, 2024
It's not all bad, my doctor's ordered full fluids lunch included a doctor's ordered vanilla ice cream
From the Comments
James Petrosky:And I got tea! Coffee this morning was pretty disappointing. I should have tea after meals more, I always really enjoy it in hospitals
James Petrosky: Ron Bedison I'll get into the habbit for a few weeks at a time, then go visit someone or something else to break the cycle, and forget I was doing it. Before this round of chemo, I was having tea and cookies most days in an attempt to eat 5 smaller meals. Chemo ruined that one.
Becca Simmons: My more rural family always drink coffee after a meal. Like, always. It's honestly really nice and idk why I don't do it except around them
James Petrosky: Becca Simmons my parents do the same, and the way they make coffee it would be so easy to make a cup of tea, too, but I never ask. It's a nice little ritual, especially if you pick your deserts to go well with coffee
Apr 15, 2024
I'm not having the best day
From the comments
James Petrosky: I had the tube after surgery. The tube was my least favourite part of my time in hospital post surgery. I don't think I've ever agreed to something I wanted less than the tube this time
Mica Richard: At least you're a cute elephant? Seriously though feel better ❤️
Apr 14, 2024
Last night, at around 9PM, I ate a slice of pizza. By the time I was done eating, I knew something was very wrong. My whole abdomen hurt with an intensity only beaten by my pre diagnosis cancer. I should have gone to the ER at this point, but went to sleep instead.
I woke up in still significant, but much reduced, pain and knew I had to go to the ER. I was reasonably sure that what was wrong with me was a bowel obstruction. Tumors along the intestine are a common cause, and unfortunately I have those.
It was a partial bowel obstruction. The doctor knew it as soon as he read my history. Unfortunately proving it with tests took the whole day.
I've been admitted, hopefully not for too long. Since my obstruction is partial, just letting my bowels do their thing, while controlling pain and keeping me hydrated, under observation, might work. I haven't been spoken with about other options yet.
Apr 14, 2024
Guess who's been in the ER all morning! When I finally get out of here I need to pick up a new laser pointer and some catnip because it was that friggin pizza that did it to me
From the Comments
James Petrosky: No idea what's wrong yet, should have realistically come in last night but I was too tired to make decisions. Have had an xray or two.
James Petrosky: I've been between 5-8 pain for 16 hours now and that's getting a bit exhausting
Mareile S. Håland: Dr Thomasin MD! 😮 She tried to warn you!
Sep 12, 2022
Fun fact! Phone anxiety only gets worse when it's literally a matter of life and death
From the comments
James Petrosky: Okay I whine but I think it's all done. Turns out the trick is to short circuit my worry circuits with the care circuits by putting "order flee medication for Thomasin" last because I will always put off stuff for me but cats are much too important
James Petrosky: To anyone worrying, it's important but not iminant. I need to get some CT scan results to someone at another hospital, but apparently the best/only way to so that is a USB drive.
James Petrosky: It's not like I'm not calling an ambulance because I'm too nervous, is what I mean.
Stefanie: James Petrosky really in this day and age they can’t send the files over in a better more accessible way? That’s really unfortunate
James Petrosky: Stefanie patient confidentiality is the killer, I think
Stefanie: James Petrosky it makes sense but it’s unfortunate given you probably can’t like mail it
James Petrosky: Stefanie I think it's a USB drive, so I might be able to mail it. Once I have it I'm calling and asking how they want it sent
James Petrosky: It's a CD/DVD. What is this, 2005?
I can't even look at the files 😆
Stefanie: James Petrosky damn that’s really old school (says the nurse who was still sending out patients with CDs last year 😆) yeah you probably can’t because of software needs and they put some super security measures on them for confidentiality
James Petrosky: Stefanie no I can't because I haven't owned a CD drive in almost a decade
Aug 27, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Saturday after colonoscopy. I'd told my boss the previous week, and HR earlier this one, so the strong separation I had between work and everything else was breaking down. I had promised myself that I could get one (1) Squishmellow friend per procedure so I was excited that I was going to get one today. This was going to be my first solo trip since before I got Covid-19 (and before this nightmare started) that I was looking forward to. It was a great day ❤️
Aug 25, 2022
Oversharing warning!
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Whoda thought that the worst part about the colonoscopy (well, so far, material was sent out for further testing) would be that my sinuses are all plugged and painful
From the comments
Ron: Not me, but my sinuses aren't particularly prone to blockage like some of my family members. Air mask related or a reaction to the anesthesia?
James Petrosky: Ron I'm told I removed the mask, so I don't know. The side I was laying on is a lot worse, and because of the cancer pain I haven't been able to sleep on my side in over a year so I have no idea.
Never been under anesthetic before, either
Ron: James Petrosky Ugh, yeah, my sinuses are sensitive enough that I do need to flip over from time to time. Sorry. General anesthesia is really deceptive. It's like being drunk without any sense of being that way. I'm told I'm hilarious when going under or coming out of it.
James Petrosky: Ron I think I just have to get used to it (a anesthesia) because I think even the best case scenario has a lot of it coming up 😛
Which, to be clear, being it the fuck on
James Petrosky: A few more hours on and the regular cancer pain is once again the worst discomfort I'm dealing with minute to minute. Which genuinely sounds a lot more dire than I mean it to, I'm not being negative or defeatist, I promise. This is just what it sounds like when a sick engineer talks about their illness. (I checked with my friends from engineering school and we all agreed about this)