Sep 05, 2022
Morning. I'm a side sleeper, and I haven't been able to side sleep for months and months because of the cancer pain. Even now I'm still not good enough at sleeping propped up that I can reliably get a good night's sleep. Last night I did not sleep well, which is fine, I'll just need a nap later.
Nessie and her soft soft corderoy belly is mg favourite Squish. I set them up on the other side of the bed, but she's always within reach if I need a quick squish. I should have gotten something like this years ago, it's so pleasant and comforting. Don't be too adult or manly or whatever for something to squeeze.
Sep 04, 2022
Morning, last night I dyed my hair, but since we finished so late I hadn't seen it in daylight. I really like it in daylight. Most of the photos taken at the breakwater in Balm Beach, I spend a lot of time down there, it's a short walk, it's very pretty, and one of my favourite places in the area. It was overcast so the light was soft and perfect.
Sep 03, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Dying hair, and some late night dyed hair photos. I really wanted it to look like the bright blue of the first few photos, but the green is great and we have plans to go again soon ❤️
Love my light skulls though, a project I actually finished.
Sep 03, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Morning. I've always toyed with the idea of dying my hair, but I had figured the point in my life where it made sense had passed. I work in a fairly conservative workplace and it made more sense to let this particular thing go. But with the threat of losing my hair looming? Heck no we're doing this shit.
Sep 02, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Bed time, making the best of it. I really like narwhals a lot. They're just so silly looking, and Nabila the pastel tie dye narhwal is great ❤️
Aug 30, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
With the oncologist appointment Friday, this week has taken a profoundly weird turn. I want it all to be secret, to pretend it isn't real, but the pain is getting to a point that I can't even move normally, require naps to get through the day.
Work friends who found out this past week, I'm sorry, I almost said something several times every day I came in this week. But shooting the shit like everything was normal felt so good, and I needed that feeling for as long as I could have it. I don't like to have lied, but it couldn't have been otherwise.
Aug 28, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Nothing special going on, excited to meet my oncologist, have given the short term disability forms to my primary care physician, have yet to fill them out myself. I know the information barrier I've put in place for work is breaking, and that it can't hold, but that I just have to hold on for a couple more weeks.
Aug 27, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Post solo trip, celebrating with my new friend Nessie, plus also Chip and of course Thomasin. It was a simple, but perfect, day ❤️
Aug 23, 2022
I meet with an oncologist next Friday
From the comments
James Petrosky: I love all the reacts, but I'm very excited. I'm also upset at Zucc for taking the good backgrounds away and durining my character into a weird stress ball texture.
Aug 23, 2022
It was hard enough to give a fuck at work before, why do I expect myself to do this?*
*I'm doing it to pretend things are normal in a way that isn't dangerous for as long as I can but holy fuck
From the comments
Jon Muggleton: Right with you, buddy. I may not be exactly where you're at, but I've felt the same way since I came back.
Gena Radcliffe: Yeah, I get this.
Anthony Daley Di Poce: I absolutely love your ability to do this. I thank Ra that I work at home with my wife. I would spill the beans day one if I still worked in the office. I am shit at hiding anything.
Anthony Daley Di Poce: Love, respect, and admire.
James Petrosky: Anthony Daley Di Poce okay but what do you think of the internal manic chaos bisexual in me's plan to reveal it by dying my hair purple and then, when asked why I did it, saying that I'm starting chemo soon and I wanted to try while I could?
Anthony Daley Di Poce: James Petrosky (emperor voice) "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen."
Aug 23, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Nearly midnight, almost forgot today, which would have been the end of the project. They're bad, but they exist, which is what matters.
Aug 22, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Today I consciously decided to try and take more photos of myself, after decades of doing my best to not be in anything. I'm not good at it, but I'm trying.
Aug 19, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Two days earlier, all the information I learned on the 3rd was confirmed through additional testing. This was the day I started sharing much more widely. This was a very bad week. Thomasin, as always, was a great comfort
Aug 11, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
The day after the appendix biopsy. The biopsy itself wasn't too bad, I generally take freezings well, but the position they had me in made my belly hurt in a way I didn't think pain could. 0/10.
Aug 08, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
At home after work, biopsy of my appendix had been scheduled, but had not happened. Family and a few close friends know, but no one else.
Aug 04, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
A lot of new tests had been scheduled, I knew I was driving five hours to Elliott Lake the next day and was dreading it. I'd been planning this visit for months (it got changed up a bit because I got Covid-19, and then again the day before, because I no longer had the energy for big trips and now needed to be nearer an emergency room I didn't think Chapleau could provide)
Aug 03, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Big-Head-Tiny-Body comforts me after the worst phone call I've ever recieved
