Aug 23, 2024
️Dying My Hair
I never had a phase in high school where I experimented with my look very much. Never dyed my hair, never experimented with makeup, never even really changed up my clothing style until after I graduated from university. It's not that I didn't want to (for differing amounts of want), it's that I wasn't brave enough to take the plunge.
I recieved my last prepandemic hair cut in December 2021 (I always tried to clean up a bit for Christmas) and, when I first met my medical oncologist in late August 2022, I'd grown quite the head of hair. And that I was likely to lose it during treatment.
My partner and I picked the blue that I was supposed to end up with, and Lilly Hill and I set to work transforming my brown hair (accidentally, beautifully) green.
In hindsight, this is the first item crossed off the Remission List. Something I had long wanted to do that I needed the excuse of cancer to finally push myself into. Learning to paint my nails slots in here nicely, too. Doubly so because chemotherapy weakens your nails and raises risk of them falling off if you aren't caredul.
It helped set the stage for accomplishing every difficult or embarrassing or otherwise challenging thing I'd face at least until at least the time I'm writing this: I need to have the strength and stubbornness to say yes, to be willing to chase after the things that are important or joyous or worthwhile for me, but I can borrow a whole lot of that strength and skill from the people I'm lucky enough to have in my life.
And I'm very lucky to have all of you in my life, in whatever little capacities we can exchange
Scrap-Book Post
Sep 06, 2022
The disability paperwork is submitted. I'm officially off until the end of treatment. Whenever that is. Normally it feels great to leave work for almost any reason, I've finally found one where that isn't true. The first is a service entrance, the second is the maintenance office (but people were around so the mask is ready to go back on)
Sep 03, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Dying hair, and some late night dyed hair photos. I really wanted it to look like the bright blue of the first few photos, but the green is great and we have plans to go again soon ❤️
Love my light skulls though, a project I actually finished.
Sep 03, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Before bleaching
Sep 01, 2022
I reflected on this on September 1, 2023
This was written on September 4th, 2022
After my shift. I rarely take photos of myself at work. I like my uniform, it's extremely practical. These are some of the only photos that exist of me in it. I had promised myself that I'd take Friday off if it didn't go great, and I guess I was doing the "hope for the best plan for the worst" thing.
Aug 28, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Nothing special going on, excited to meet my oncologist, have given the short term disability forms to my primary care physician, have yet to fill them out myself. I know the information barrier I've put in place for work is breaking, and that it can't hold, but that I just have to hold on for a couple more weeks.
Aug 21, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Did some shopping in Barrie with a friend, ended up with some neat t-shirts and Chip, my first Squishmellow (the beaver) because Thomasin can be cuddly, but cannot be counted on to be cuddly at all times.
Jul 28, 2022
This was written on September 4th, 2022
First day back after Covid-19, unaware of diagnoses yet
Jul 22, 2022
That's a positive.
Sep 28, 2019
Gang, today I achieved a major life goal I didn't know I had until moments before achieving it: I honked at geese with a fork lift and had them honk back as they slowly waddled out of my way.