Cancer Selfies

An important decision

This was written on September 4th, 2022

Today I consciously decided to try and take more photos of myself, after decades of doing my best to not be in anything. I'm not good at it, but I'm trying.

An evening at the breakwater

I reflected on this on August 21, 2023

This was written on September 4th, 2022

Back at home after Barrie trip, at the Balm Beach breakwater. Look, I'm 35, I know I'm bad at selfies, and I would normally only share the really good ones. But that isn't what this album is about.

New friend!

I adopted a new friend

Some light retail therapy, the start of an addiction

This was written on September 4th, 2022

Did some shopping in Barrie with a friend, ended up with some neat t-shirts and Chip, my first Squishmellow (the beaver) because Thomasin can be cuddly, but cannot be counted on to be cuddly at all times.

Coke Dreamworld

Coke Dreamworld Zero tastes like someone mixed regular Coke and Inca Kola, but with an unpleasant artificial sweetener taste. Here's hoping I can find regular to give it a go

From the comments

James Petrosky: I encourage everyone to try Inca Kola if they can find it, it's a touch too sweet but deliciously citrusy and refreshing

Lina: Yeah, love Inca cola. Reminds me of this soft drink we had in Venezuela called Frescolita, it was red and like 100% sugar lol

James Petrosky: Lina I need to find a South American grocer somewhere and hope they have these pops

Gillian: The Dreamworld Coke tasted like they just mixed the leftover flavors from their other drinks and tossed them into regular Coke.

James Petrosky: Gillian honestly that sounds like my jam

Carolyn: James Petrosky you should definitely visit the Coca Cola museum then!

James Petrosky: Carolyn where is that?

Carolyn: James Petrosky Atlanta, Georgia, USA- they have a “tasting room” with all the flavors from around the world and some are gnarly

James Petrosky: Carolyn it's on the remission list

Ryan: It tasted like mango and a hint of guava to me. I like Inca Kola, but I wish they had a less caloric version in my town.

Tu: I thought it tasted like peaches! And I’ve occasionally found Inka Cola in the “Latin foods” section of large grocery stores. I always thought it tasted like bubblegum!

James Petrosky: Tu the parts I'm from don't have good Latin sections, unfortunately

James Petrosky: Not going to lie, didn't particularly enjoy regular variety. But I did find some Coke Quebec Maple and that was very nice

Taste still hasn't returned

Pro: I found a store that sells grey market American Vanilla Coke (no French on the label, inscrutable units)

Con: Covid-19 has decided I can't taste vanilla today

I also cleared out all the stores I could think of of Starlight, as a treat to myself when I do good at an appointment.

Fake medicine ads

I reflected on this on August 20, 2023

If your wondering how fast advertisements for nonsense natural remedies take over your feed, it's within hours (maybe quicker, I was at work and not paying full attention).

I've already blocked and reported a half dozen.

Right now I'm still in a position where I can laugh these off, block some scammers, and move on. If I start to break, someone please just point me at Science Based Medicine to set me straight again ❤️

The results are in, its appendex cancer

This was written on September 4th, 2022

Two days earlier, all the information I learned on the 3rd was confirmed through additional testing. This was the day I started sharing much more widely. This was a very bad week. Thomasin, as always, was a great comfort

Bad news

Friends, this is not going to be a happy post. I understand if you take a pass, just know that you're all important to me, you brighten and give colour to my life, and that I love you all.

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I've been diagnosed with cancer of the appendix. Its already spread to at least two other places. This is the source of the gut/abdominal/belly button pain I've been complaining about for a while. We've only suspected for just over two weeks. and only had it confirmed this week, so I don't know what the outlook is like, but I'm choosing to be hopeful.

Work friends, please keep this to yourselves. Work is the only place I can pretend things are normal right now and that is important to my mental health.

All friends, please don't tell me you're praying for me. That's often used as a passive aggressive threat towards atheists, and while I know you don't mean it that way, I'm already emotionally spent.

Again, you all mean the world to me, and the world is a better place having all you in it ❤

From the comments

James Petrosky: But seriously though the Ontario heathcare system is deeply flawed, but once the full weight of it is behind you things move fast.

James Petrosky: And for American friends, the combo of public health care and good employer benefits means I'm not worried financially.

A visit to Thornbury antiques

This was written on September 4th, 2022

Junk store fun

CBD

Holy crap CBD is a demon chemical that damns me to an unrestful sleep full of vivid and surreal dreams. I'll take seven.

From the comments

James Petrosky: Maybe I'm just overdoing it? Who knows. Prerolls are weird and I have no idea what I'm doing (other than trying to reliably fall asleep and remain asleep until morning)

Amber: James Petrosky vaping? Smoking? Edible?

James Petrosky: Amber 0.35g prerolled joint, so smoking. Buying small numbers of prerolls is the easiest way for me to find what I like, so I can then get dried flower for the vaporizer. Sadly I can't have edibles right now because they dehydrate me and because of a health problem that has to be avoided (but the problem also makes sleep difficult so catch 22)

Amber: James Petrosky edibles are expensive! I can’t do preroll because of asthma. A portable vape is great cuz I know my exact temp; easy on my lungs. It’s amazing learning smoking has no control and can overheat the preroll. Best of luck! Big learning curve but worth it!

James Petrosky: Amber I've been doing higher THC stuff since 2020, including edibles, but changing life situations has rendered the high THC stuff a poor choice because of elevated paranoia risk (I think related to the same issue, but maybe related to the bipolar disorder or something else) and the edible dehydration issue is a non-starter.

Amber: James Petrosky I’m sorry to hear that. Cbd is a good option for you then. No high, but nice and mellow. I vape sour space candy when I feel anxious and it works like a charm to calm me down. There’s so many strains, it’s overwhelming!

James Petrosky: Amber yeah I tried two this week, one did nothing and this one (Black widdow I think) was too much. It's not pure CBD numbers because the first was higher, but the second also had a small but meaningful amount of THC in it. Anyways, the search continues

The day after the biopsy

This was written on September 4th, 2022

The day after the appendix biopsy. The biopsy itself wasn't too bad, I generally take freezings well, but the position they had me in made my belly hurt in a way I didn't think pain could. 0/10.

Back from Northern Ontario, still working

This was written on September 4th, 2022

At home after work, biopsy of my appendix had been scheduled, but had not happened. Family and a few close friends know, but no one else.

I told my parents today

This was written on September 4th, 2022

With my best gal, Bessie. Annie instinctively overcame her weird anxiety for me when I arrived, which was wonderful, but Bessie has always been this sort of delight for me ❤️

There are a lot of tests

This was written on September 4th, 2022

A lot of new tests had been scheduled, I knew I was driving five hours to Elliott Lake the next day and was dreading it. I'd been planning this visit for months (it got changed up a bit because I got Covid-19, and then again the day before, because I no longer had the energy for big trips and now needed to be nearer an emergency room I didn't think Chapleau could provide)

I learned I had cancer today

This was written on September 4th, 2022

Big-Head-Tiny-Body comforts me after the worst phone call I've ever recieved

Bank holiday 2022

Guess who forgot they couldn't taste food and bought pizza to celebrate the long weekend?

First day at work post-covid

This was written on September 4th, 2022

First day back after Covid-19, unaware of diagnoses yet

I passed my CofQ exam

This week refuses to quit with the ups and downs

From the comments

James Petrosky: (that means I passed my exam and am a licenced electrician as of today)

(also holy shit it wasn't even close, 89/100 with a pass mark of 70, that's at the extreme high end of what I was expecting)

Robert: James Petrosky have you ever considered that you’re good at certain things?
James Petrosky: Robert Ocasionally, I was reasonably sure I had passed but I also didn't sleep for the three or four nights prior and timed my meals wrong day of so I was loopy from low blood sugar by the end of it, so it wasn't super easy to judge the outcome

Covid-19 finally got me

That's a positive.