Cancer Selfies

Toronto Zoo

The Toronto Zoo is one of my partner, Alicia's, favourite places in the world. And over the course of our relationship, in the various forms it's taken, it's become one of mine as well.

As friends, it was a group outing we'd almost always both attend. Alicia, because she was the driving force behind nearly every zoo trip I ever went on. Me, because I went with the flow and an afternoon with friends and cool animals was always a delight. These trips were usually taken in the heat of the summer (now, as a zoo expert, I know know that summer is a fool's time to visit the zoo, it's full of children and the animals are all asleep, but, as groups, this is the time we had together).

Years later, and after many more trips, Alicia and my first real date was to the zoo. We knew we were a thing, of sorts, the day before. We'd had our conversation, started to define the nature of what we would be (which lasted about a month, before we realized we were just another romantic couple (attached, polyamourously, to another romantic couple, Alicia and her wife, Catherine)). That was the most memorable trip to the zoo I've ever taken, although I'll be damned if I remember much of the animal content of the trip. It was late August, 2018, it was hot, and the animals were all sleepy. The parrots were entertaining, monkeys rambunctious, and we drank so very much bluraspberry slushy (because we always did). The zoo membership discount was a compelling and silly argument to always have more, while the powerful daystar beating down upon us was a powerful and overwhelming argument in favour of hydration by that delicious fruitish flavoured drink.

The big cats are still an impressive sight in the heat of the sun. They're what I remember best from that trip. Basking all together, the lions especially retain their majesty and wonder more than most other animals, although a pack of wolves (which we did not see that day) can have similar effect. The tigers are somewhat less impressive, but sprawled out in the shade of their enclosures, but still radiate their beauty. Alicia and I are fundamentally cat people (even if I'm a pretty even split on dogs), observing the big cats do anything, even if it's as close to literally nothing as possible, is still a treat for us. Its an opportunity to pretend that our house cats are like the big cats. Thomasin is a Sumatran tiger, stalking the underbrush. Nemo, Alicia's cat (a sleek black house panther if there ever was one) is most like the clouded leopard, the way they both move through the trees (or bookcases, in Nemo's case) is similarly mesmerizing.

The zoo is a place that I will always think of as an us place, maybe even The Us Place, a place where we could always just be a couple. We haven't always been able to be out, career's and religion don't always agree with polyamory (or our bisexuality, but mercifully that was rarely a concern), but the zoo was far enough away from home that it was always safe to just be us, and to be an Us.

The zoo is Alicia's natural date location. A good date doesn't have to include the zoo, but a great date is going to have a targeted zoo visit. One where you pick a section and thoroughly explore it, planning things so you get to see a feeding (ideally the otters) and maybe a zookeeper talk. The whole zoo is too big for a day, and it took me a long time to realize this. The whole zoo is for tourists and families and school outings. A zoo date visits a third of the animals, then departs before you're too exhausted to enjoy a nice dinner.

Toronto has all the dinner options one could want, and we'd generally pick some nationality of food that's harder to get to in the Midland area, often stopping for dimsum before the zoo or whatever east Asian option struck our fancy as we were leaving. I generally did the legwork picking some restaurants so we'd have an easy time dealing with choice paralysis on the way home. We always ate well.

During the pandemic, these outings became how we saw each other. Which so much outside time, we didn't have to stress as hard about transmission. This became even more true after I got diagnosed with cancer and started chemotherapy. The outdoor portions let us be close, because I was always immunocompromised and Alicia is a primary school teacher. A difficult combination any time, but especially with covid-19 still surging. These outings are where we got to play pretend things were normal, and have our dates.

After the first round of chemo ended, and my surgery failed, we started taking a lot more risks. Zoo trips became more normal and frequent. We spent more time inside the pavilions, greenhouses and other indoor spaces. At the worst moment in my life, we had a special place to visit, to spend time at, and to enjoy the big cats and fatrounds. It took months before I was well enough to make the trip, but it was a highlight of that adventuring period in my life.

The Toronto Zoo did not start as a special place to me. I grew up too far away, it was a neat commercial I'd see on TV sometimes, on par with Marine Land and the occasional cross border ad for an American zoo or aquarium or African Lion Safari or similar. But it's a special place to me now, one of the most special and important in the world. Home to most of my favourite fatrounds, all of my favourite non-house-cats, and more memories than I'd care to count.

Of all the adventures I can no longer have, it's the one I'd jump at first for a do over. Fall's nearly here, the weather is just right for the large carnivores to be active, and soon Alicia will have a small break in her work schedule, just after report cards are in (school just started a week or two ago, but that's how school does), and we could have one more perfect little afternoon.

Scrap-Book Post

Ontario roadside attractions

After much research (spending a hour looking at a couple websites) I have some observations about the state of roadside attractions in Ontario

• we've got way more than I expected, and I can grab some new ones even on trips I've made dozens of times
• we (governments, private businesses and individuals) really like to build inukshuks. We probably shouldn't be doing that. I'm generally leaving them off my list.
• there are four giant coins, three are real currency, all are extremely accessible and I'm very excited
• there are so many giant Muskoka chairs, there must be a war on for who can get the largest (someone claims the largest in Northern Ontario to save themselves some trouble. If you can't sit in the chair, it's worthless as a photo
• there are many many many moose, bear and walleye
• there are more cows than you'd expect
• there are a lot of dinosaurs, usually at mini put
• St. Thomas has a Jumbo the elephant statue that I simply must visit
• Wawa apparently has three goose statues these days

I also found lists for other provinces, if I can ever make it more than 100km from Lake Huron

From the comments

Britta: I want to see the big coins

James Petrosky: Britta there's a nickel in Sudbury, a place I go and go through regularly, a loonie and a toonie along the routes to see other things (my brother in Ottawa, for the toonie, and the Wawa geese for the loonie). The last is a gold coin way up by the Quebec border in Northern Ontario, which is probably not going to happen.
James Petrosky: I've been to The Big Nickle maybe four or five times over my life, and until I realized there was a set I needed to complete I wasn't going to go back 😛
James Petrosky: I can't find a photo I like (one with a human for scale) but the coin itself is 30ft tall (9.1m, it was built before metrification). I always forget how big it is

Monica: If one of the websites you looked at wasn’t Atlas Obscura, I recommend taking a look. Lots of weird things to see and do

James Petrosky: Monica I've used it in the past, but it's Ontario coverage is sadly pretty poor. In Toronto and Ottawa it isn't bad, though
James Petrosky: Monica Bell I must have been searching badly because it's got way more junk than I remember now

James Petrosky: If anyone knows cool shit between Kitchener, Ottawa and Elliot Lake, I'm all ears. I already won't get to everything in my notebook (maybe even if I had ten years, BC is far, after all), and I'm finding the idea of possibilities really pleasant right now.

Geoffrey: I always thought this was interesting: top 100 unusual things to see in ontario - Google My Maps

James Petrosky: Geoffrey I've been to a small number of these. The Rideau Canal is pretty easy, Nicholson, Ontario (an hour drive and half hour boat ride outside of Chapleau) is quite another.
Anyways I'm saving this so because there's lots of neat stuff here

Carillons

Did you know that I find carillons to be one of the coolest non synth instruments? Did you know there was one in the Peace Tower? I didn't! But parliament's centre block is under renovations and it isn't presently in use. So I need you all to leave out hardhats and reflective vests for the construction gods because I need to get to listen to it.

From the comments

James Petrosky: There are ten other carillons in Canada, all but two are in southern or eastern Ontario. So my goal is to get the nine easy ones. Montreal might be possible. Victoria is unlikely.

I genuinely thought that there were a handful in the states, largely in the original states, and that was it for North America. I didn't even think to look for more 😮

A trip to Espanola

There is no desernable improvement in my incision healing over the past few days, but I've learned that's the wrong time scale to measure it. Since it isn't infected, or seperating to an alarming rate (we have a home care nurse three times a week, monitoring it), it's best for me to really look at it once a week. You can see the improvement on that timescale.

Much more importantly and excitingly, the reintroduction of previously forbidden foods continues. Tomatoes and pickles are still out, but I enjoyed a bacon cheeseburger with the works, less those toppings, today. It was magnificent. Relish was the major addition, but onion was also forbidden until recently. Photos are from the lunch spot in Spanish, Ontario, at my favourite chip truck north of the French River (aka in Northern Ontario).

Today my mother and I visited one of my cousins (with his parents), which means that today officially kicks off me working through my activity list. He's got some ducks and chickens, two delightful dogs and four wonderful cats. Genuinely, the sort of life I'd have loved to have. I've got no pictures, and forgot all the names but one, because there was a mighty orange cat named Doug, and I spent most of my animal time with him. We'd all be lucky to have a cat as aggressively friendly as Doug.

Given my limitations and situation, which is going to be a caviet implicit in anything I say from here on out, today couldn't have gone better, or been more enjoyable. I saw people I wanted to see, ate one of my favourite sorts of food, pushed myself as hard as I have since the surgery, and pet lots of cats.

The appointment with my oncologist, like the sword of Damocles, hangs over all this. I'm starting to build anxiety about it. I tell myself that anything I learn doesn't suddenly become true by me learning it, and that whatever my fate is has been true since the evening of June 9th, after we all learned the surgery had been cancled, and realistically, also true on the second of August, last year, and perhaps further back, depending on how you feel about free will and cosmic determinism. August second is as far as I dare go.

I look forward to becoming more forward facing, hopefully the appointment will help for that.

From the comments

James Petrosky: If any of you ever find yourself traveling the north shore of Georgian Bay, in a little town called Spanish, right on King's Highway 17, is a chip truck called Lucky's. Extremely strong recommend from me.

They use chicken gravy for their poutine, which is unconventional and not to everyone's taste, but it's the best chicken gravy option I know.

Nancy: Doug

Coke Dreamworld

Coke Dreamworld Zero tastes like someone mixed regular Coke and Inca Kola, but with an unpleasant artificial sweetener taste. Here's hoping I can find regular to give it a go

From the comments

James Petrosky: I encourage everyone to try Inca Kola if they can find it, it's a touch too sweet but deliciously citrusy and refreshing

Lina: Yeah, love Inca cola. Reminds me of this soft drink we had in Venezuela called Frescolita, it was red and like 100% sugar lol

James Petrosky: Lina I need to find a South American grocer somewhere and hope they have these pops

Gillian: The Dreamworld Coke tasted like they just mixed the leftover flavors from their other drinks and tossed them into regular Coke.

James Petrosky: Gillian honestly that sounds like my jam

Carolyn: James Petrosky you should definitely visit the Coca Cola museum then!

James Petrosky: Carolyn where is that?

Carolyn: James Petrosky Atlanta, Georgia, USA- they have a “tasting room” with all the flavors from around the world and some are gnarly

James Petrosky: Carolyn it's on the remission list

Ryan: It tasted like mango and a hint of guava to me. I like Inca Kola, but I wish they had a less caloric version in my town.

Tu: I thought it tasted like peaches! And I’ve occasionally found Inka Cola in the “Latin foods” section of large grocery stores. I always thought it tasted like bubblegum!

James Petrosky: Tu the parts I'm from don't have good Latin sections, unfortunately

James Petrosky: Not going to lie, didn't particularly enjoy regular variety. But I did find some Coke Quebec Maple and that was very nice