Cancer Selfies

VLog: July 31, 2023

I did my chemo bloodwork! The goose video is here

Trying on my Iron Ring

Now that I'm no longer a practicing electrician, I'd like to wear my Iron Ring again. But unsurprisingly in the past decade I've put on weight and developed muscle and it no longer fits. I could get a replacement or I could wait for chemo to fix the problem.

I've decided to wait.

From the comments

James Petrosky: Engineers in Canada can participate in a weird cult induction ceremony (that I swore not to talk about the details of because cult) and receive a stainless steel ring to wear on our dominant pinky finger, it's supposed to remind us of our professional responsibility to the public.

Like all cults, it's only interesting if you don't know what's going on and becomes fabulously boring once your in the know. Scientology is the exception.

Pre-chemo restart blood work

There's no memento mori quite like walking into a cancer centre at 0800 on a Monday

From the comments

James Petrosky: At least I'm the youngest one here by a decade or two. All you alls are allowed to be saddened by that on my behalf, but it's so much easier for me

Don't worry about me, death causes me a lot less mental anguish than the fact that I need to do a urine test in half an hour but really, really need to pee now

VLog: July 30, 2023

I only stopped wearing masks in June of this year (and I'll start again soon)

Ontario roadside attractions

After much research (spending a hour looking at a couple websites) I have some observations about the state of roadside attractions in Ontario

• we've got way more than I expected, and I can grab some new ones even on trips I've made dozens of times
• we (governments, private businesses and individuals) really like to build inukshuks. We probably shouldn't be doing that. I'm generally leaving them off my list.
• there are four giant coins, three are real currency, all are extremely accessible and I'm very excited
• there are so many giant Muskoka chairs, there must be a war on for who can get the largest (someone claims the largest in Northern Ontario to save themselves some trouble. If you can't sit in the chair, it's worthless as a photo
• there are many many many moose, bear and walleye
• there are more cows than you'd expect
• there are a lot of dinosaurs, usually at mini put
• St. Thomas has a Jumbo the elephant statue that I simply must visit
• Wawa apparently has three goose statues these days

I also found lists for other provinces, if I can ever make it more than 100km from Lake Huron

From the comments

Britta: I want to see the big coins

James Petrosky: Britta there's a nickel in Sudbury, a place I go and go through regularly, a loonie and a toonie along the routes to see other things (my brother in Ottawa, for the toonie, and the Wawa geese for the loonie). The last is a gold coin way up by the Quebec border in Northern Ontario, which is probably not going to happen.
James Petrosky: I've been to The Big Nickle maybe four or five times over my life, and until I realized there was a set I needed to complete I wasn't going to go back 😛
James Petrosky: I can't find a photo I like (one with a human for scale) but the coin itself is 30ft tall (9.1m, it was built before metrification). I always forget how big it is

Monica: If one of the websites you looked at wasn’t Atlas Obscura, I recommend taking a look. Lots of weird things to see and do

James Petrosky: Monica I've used it in the past, but it's Ontario coverage is sadly pretty poor. In Toronto and Ottawa it isn't bad, though
James Petrosky: Monica Bell I must have been searching badly because it's got way more junk than I remember now

James Petrosky: If anyone knows cool shit between Kitchener, Ottawa and Elliot Lake, I'm all ears. I already won't get to everything in my notebook (maybe even if I had ten years, BC is far, after all), and I'm finding the idea of possibilities really pleasant right now.

Geoffrey: I always thought this was interesting: top 100 unusual things to see in ontario - Google My Maps

James Petrosky: Geoffrey I've been to a small number of these. The Rideau Canal is pretty easy, Nicholson, Ontario (an hour drive and half hour boat ride outside of Chapleau) is quite another.
Anyways I'm saving this so because there's lots of neat stuff here

VLog: July 29, 2023

A 1% chance of death is a terrifyingly high chance

Carillons

Did you know that I find carillons to be one of the coolest non synth instruments? Did you know there was one in the Peace Tower? I didn't! But parliament's centre block is under renovations and it isn't presently in use. So I need you all to leave out hardhats and reflective vests for the construction gods because I need to get to listen to it.

From the comments

James Petrosky: There are ten other carillons in Canada, all but two are in southern or eastern Ontario. So my goal is to get the nine easy ones. Montreal might be possible. Victoria is unlikely.

I genuinely thought that there were a handful in the states, largely in the original states, and that was it for North America. I didn't even think to look for more 😮

Lots of bad anniversaries coming up

Past James had best enjoy that long weekend, even with the ruined pizza, Tuesday is going to be the worst fucking day

I've got a lot of feelings about the coming week, but I'm in a good place, mentally. I've found my peace.

The following was originally posted July 29, 2022

Guess who forgot they couldn't taste food and bought pizza to celebrate the long weekend?

From the comments

James Petrosky: I'm also pretty sure I worked all weekend, maybe even the Monday. So I didn't enjoy the weekend. Sometimes thats just how it goes

I was supposed to be on vacation that week, too. Which made all the testing I had to do that week (blood, ultrasound, CT) much easier to work around.

VLog: July 28, 2023

The brain fog is real

VLog: July 27, 2023

Introducing Thomasin! (she purrs)

VLog: July 26, 2023

In addition to appendex cancer, I also have bipolar (II) disorder and boy howdy is that a combination

VLog: July 25, 2023

Midland is boring, there are lots of appointments, pizza is great

VLog: July 24, 2023

I visited Mt. Sinai for a surgical followup (things are going great)

Return to Mt. Sinai

Today I made the journey to Toronto, to return to Mt. Sinai for what I hoped to be the final time, I had a followup appointment with the surgeon who preformed my aborted HIPEC surgery.

The surgeons were very happy with how my incision was healing. My home care nurse in Elliot Lake had been updating my surgeon, so it wasn't too surprising, but it's still great news. The area that seperated, that is still healing, is where my belly button was. My belly button was removed during the surgery (the only cancer that was removed), so there was some lost skin here. I hadn't made the connection, hadn't realized that I was missing skin, and this allows me to cease worrying that I could have done more for healing. I also hadn't figured that the belly button was the source of my pain all last year, so when pain returns, it can't be the same source.

I no longer have any physical activity limits. I can work my way up to any sorts of exercises I'd want to do (weight lifting would still be out, but I've never had interest). I was told that what I really want to do, gradually increasing my walking endurance, is exactly the sort of thing I should be doing. Which is fantastic, I'd love to recover some strength and a lot of endurance before I restart chemo, which is going to hurt both of those things. I should have a chemo rest period before the cold weather sets in, so I can recover more, but I remember how cold I was all winter, that will be a season of atrophy (I have Ring Fit Adventure for Switch, which I hope will help mitigate the winter losses).

This week I have to get a CT scan, and ensure its summertime hot flash, and visit the cancer centre at the Royal Victoria Regional Health Centre in Barrie, and then next Thursday I meet with my medical oncologist in person to discus the results and come up with our Summer/Fall treatment plan. My surgeon thinks that if we can afford to delay (the CT scan shows minimal change from the CT scan I had back in March at the end of my second round of chemo), we should allow the incision another few weeks to heal, but that it's healed enough that we could start chemo sooner. That's ultimately a question that only the medical oncologist can answer, and while I have some say in the matter, I fully intend to defer to her.

From the comments

James Petrosky: As is traditional when non-Torontonians from rural Ontario visit Toronto, we got food that's hard to get in Midland (dim sum, in this case) and took a stroll in a walkable neighbourhood with fun stores (Chinatown, it's almost always Chinatown, especially because it's minutes from the hospital). We stopped at a Chinese bakery, many bbq pork buns were enjoyed (also a good selection of other tasty treats, but the pork is my favourite)

I really wanted to visit the Art Gallary of Ontario, Couch Monster is just outside the AGO), but the 600m walk from the hospital to the AGO took a lot out of me. But there will be future trips, hopefully planned far enough in advance that I can invite others.

I'll never really get to use my licence

I was pretty pleased about passing my licencing exam last year. But we now know that I did it with excruciating cancer pain AND some pretty bad intestinal panic. Also I did extremely well.

Couldn't have been prouder of any other accomplishment to end my career on (even though it traditionally marks the beginning of a career)

The following was originally posted July 23, 2022

This week refuses to quit with the ups and downs

From the comments

James Petrosky: You can sad and care react if that's what feels right, but I'm genuinely pleased with what I accomplished, and am comfortable with it being an ending. I am at peace.

VLog: July 23, 2023

From now on, I'm displaying my PICC as well as I can.

VLog: July 22, 2023

Half in Elliot Lake, half in Balm Beach. Either way, I look exhausted and have intestinal distress.

I'm going home

Today I left Elliot Lake and returned home to Balm Beach, Ontario. Since we departed early in the morning on June 8th, I've only seen Thomasin for around half an hour. I adore Annie and Bessie, my Poodle Pals, and don't know how I'd have handled the last month without them, but I'm overjoyed and relieved to be with my cat again. And she's never been this affectionate. I know I'll eventually have to leave her again, but until that day we're together.

From the comments

James Petrosky: My incision still has a lot of healing to do, and I'm still restricted on how much I can lift, and the motions I can make. If I were planning on returning to work, I'd still be off for two months.

My Covid-19 anniversary (and a lot more coming)

Oh hey! It's the anniversary of the start of the worst, hardest two weeks of my life. But today's the day I get to return home, too, where Thomasin awaits. Truly a mixed bag of a day.

We must choose to focus on the good, however. Which is pretty easy when she's so soft

The following was originally posted July 22, 2022

That's a positive.

From the comments

James Petrosky: For spoilers, August 5th is the day I traveled five hours, alone, to tell my parents about the cancer diagnosis. I do not recommend, but I can't think of another way I'd have done it.

But the two week period wasn't all bad, I watched a lot of Universal Monsters movies while I had covid, and still think of those quite fondly.

VLog: July 21, 2023

Last day in Elliot Lake, tomorrow I travel home (and get to see my cat)