This was written on September 4th, 2022
I think I look sad here, and I have many reasons to, but I don't remember why specifically. I think it's the laundromat, and I've just gotten off the phone with a nurse at the Barrie Regional Cancer Center. I've said multiple times that the currency of this past month has been normalcy, and few things ruin your sense of normal like that sort of phone call.
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Nothing special going on, excited to meet my oncologist, have given the short term disability forms to my primary care physician, have yet to fill them out myself. I know the information barrier I've put in place for work is breaking, and that it can't hold, but that I just have to hold on for a couple more weeks.
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Post solo trip, celebrating with my new friend Nessie, plus also Chip and of course Thomasin. It was a simple, but perfect, day ❤️
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Saturday after colonoscopy. I'd told my boss the previous week, and HR earlier this one, so the strong separation I had between work and everything else was breaking down. I had promised myself that I could get one (1) Squishmellow friend per procedure so I was excited that I was going to get one today. This was going to be my first solo trip since before I got Covid-19 (and before this nightmare started) that I was looking forward to. It was a great day ❤️
I meet with an oncologist next Friday
James Petrosky: I love all the reacts, but I'm very excited. I'm also upset at Zucc for taking the good backgrounds away and durining my character into a weird stress ball texture.
It was hard enough to give a fuck at work before, why do I expect myself to do this?*
*I'm doing it to pretend things are normal in a way that isn't dangerous for as long as I can but holy fuck
Jon Muggleton: Right with you, buddy. I may not be exactly where you're at, but I've felt the same way since I came back.
Gena Radcliffe: Yeah, I get this.
Anthony Daley Di Poce: I absolutely love your ability to do this. I thank Ra that I work at home with my wife. I would spill the beans day one if I still worked in the office. I am shit at hiding anything.
Anthony Daley Di Poce: Love, respect, and admire. James Petrosky: Anthony Daley Di Poce okay but what do you think of the internal manic chaos bisexual in me's plan to reveal it by dying my hair purple and then, when asked why I did it, saying that I'm starting chemo soon and I wanted to try while I could? Anthony Daley Di Poce*: James Petrosky (emperor voice) "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen."
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Nearly midnight, almost forgot today, which would have been the end of the project. They're bad, but they exist, which is what matters.
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Today I consciously decided to try and take more photos of myself, after decades of doing my best to not be in anything. I'm not good at it, but I'm trying.
I reflected on this on August 21, 2023
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Back at home after Barrie trip, at the Balm Beach breakwater. Look, I'm 35, I know I'm bad at selfies, and I would normally only share the really good ones. But that isn't what this album is about.
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Did some shopping in Barrie with a friend, ended up with some neat t-shirts and Chip, my first Squishmellow (the beaver) because Thomasin can be cuddly, but cannot be counted on to be cuddly at all times.
Pro: I found a store that sells grey market American Vanilla Coke (no French on the label, inscrutable units)
Con: Covid-19 has decided I can't taste vanilla today
I also cleared out all the stores I could think of of Starlight, as a treat to myself when I do good at an appointment.
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Two days earlier, all the information I learned on the 3rd was confirmed through additional testing. This was the day I started sharing much more widely. This was a very bad week. Thomasin, as always, was a great comfort
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Junk store fun
This was written on September 4th, 2022
The day after the appendix biopsy. The biopsy itself wasn't too bad, I generally take freezings well, but the position they had me in made my belly hurt in a way I didn't think pain could. 0/10.
This was written on September 4th, 2022
At home after work, biopsy of my appendix had been scheduled, but had not happened. Family and a few close friends know, but no one else.
This was written on September 4th, 2022
With my best gal, Bessie. Annie instinctively overcame her weird anxiety for me when I arrived, which was wonderful, but Bessie has always been this sort of delight for me ❤️
This was written on September 4th, 2022
A lot of new tests had been scheduled, I knew I was driving five hours to Elliott Lake the next day and was dreading it. I'd been planning this visit for months (it got changed up a bit because I got Covid-19, and then again the day before, because I no longer had the energy for big trips and now needed to be nearer an emergency room I didn't think Chapleau could provide)
This was written on September 4th, 2022
Big-Head-Tiny-Body comforts me after the worst phone call I've ever recieved
This was written on September 4th, 2022
First day back after Covid-19, unaware of diagnoses yet
